Why I Hate the Grocery Store

I went to Food Co. last night. All I wanted was a bag of stir fry veggies and some damn vanilla fudge drumsticks. The store was crowded and the lines were long. I've never like the grocery store and every time I think about going I start itching. I'm itching right now thinking about it.

So at the checkout stand this asian lady in front of me is yelling at the cashier and telling him to make sure all the toothpaste she is buying is $1.00. She can't even get her money out for looking at the screen trying to make sure the 50 effin toothpastes she has on the conveyor belt is $1.00. The the asian lady behind me has a million stinky kids and they're all standing close to me. I mean they're literally touching me, they're standing so effin close. And the little boy is dressed like a girl, he had on a purple shirt with ruffles and flowers. WTH.

After all that, its my turn! Finally...I wanted to get out of there FAST. My total comes to $7.08. I gave the cashier boy $20.10 because I didnt want a lot of change. He looks at me and says, "so you don't want the two pennies back?" He was serious. He didn't know how to make change from 10 cents. What is the world coming to? I didn't have the patience to explain that he can give me two pennies instead of keeping them. So I looked in my purse for the exact change. And he had the nerve to look at me like I was stupid and say it's a nickel and three pennies.

I'd rather starve then go back to Food Co!

Crazy Cravings

Sometimes I get these crazy cravings. Today I wanted coffee flavored ice cream. The other day I wanted McDonald's french fries and vanilla ice cream. I had dreams about dipping my fries in the ice cream. Oh...and then there are days when I want cookies. Any kind of cookie! Choc chip, M&M, oatmeal raisin, peanut butter, sugar, coconut, choc chip muffie, butterscotch and peanut butter (visit your local 7/11 for a mix of two diff types of cookies)....

My cravings have been so strong that they scare me. I wake up out of my sleep wanting to eat! As I was thinking of coffee flavored ice cream today...I thought FML...I might be pregnant...but y'all know my baby dont want no babies. So what could it be? And POW! I had an epiphany!

I'm fat!