Random Foolishness at Work

People call my job all day with foolishness! I work in a career center where I help people find employment and people call all day long asking stupid questions like I'm omniscient.  And my co-workers....help them Lord.

From the customers:

1. My best friend was in a car accident and died. He didn't have any family and I was wondering if you can tell me where his funeral will be held, since I have no one to contact to ask.
2. I got three unempployment checks in the mail. I cashed one and I have the other two here in my pocket. When I called unemployment they said that their records show that I cashed only one check....can you tell me why their records dont show that I cashed the other two checks I recieved?
3. I was calling to sign up for a GED class.

From my co-workers:

1. My son is a southmore in high school.
2. My co-worker and I were discussing the explosion in San Bruno and he said that he couldn't phantom the devastation. He cant phantom what those families are going through. I said, yeah I can't fathom that either. He looked at me like I was crazy, like I said the wrong word. (this is the same person that has a son thats a southmore in high school!)
3. I received a phone call from a co-worker at a different site. She asked me how to send an email. Then she asked me how to save a document to her desktop.
4. There is this new old man at work. When I say old man, this man is probably like 70 years old, creeping towards 80.
   
   Old Man: “You know, Richard, I take a lot of medicine as I get older. For my diabetes and such…but you know what I don’t need.”
   
   Richard: “What’s that, man? You know we’re all getting older and I have to take medicine now too. It’s not like it used to be..”
   
   Old Man: “Well, what I don’t need, young man is Viagra. I got no problems there…it’s in my genes.”
   
   I just about fell out and threw up all at the same time. Ugh!